I like that one, Paolo. Good job. I think it is effective in establishing exactly the kind of goodbye that you and Franny had - "ok, see you later" and then you realize, after she leaves and is already in the elevator, that you really won't see her later. And then you realize, maybe you should have given her a hug. Or at least a proper goodbye. Something worth the time that you had invested in building a working friendship with her as your muse.
I also, to be honest, like the fact that your not in focus because it makes me think of a moment passing. In photography we try so hard to capture moments precisely as they happen, but this seems to hint at the moment we're experiencing ending. You're moving away from the door, going back to your room/kitchen/living room and well, moving on.